The following essay ("The History Lesson") is one I posted on my own blog "Lori's Old School Mix" in June of 2008. Recently, while re-reading the piece, I realized I'd neglected to mention the race of the teacher in question. For the record, the teacher was White. While pondering my original omission of that bit of information, I realized something--for the most part, it didn't really matter. In all honesty, had the teacher been Black, Asian, Latino or Other, the internal angst and discomfort I felt in that particular situation would have been the same.
THE HISTORY LESSON
Back in high school, I had a favorite teacher, who, with his big grin, jerky movements and small, wiry frame, reminded me of a cricket--Jiminy Cricket to be precise. He was an older fellow whose wisdom and intellect I'd accepted without question, until the day he opened his mouth and spat out the words, "Those dirty Japs!"
The first time I heard him say it, I was stunned. I thought to myself, Surely, I must had misheard him. I didn't want to believe that my favorite teacher, a man whom I'd admired for his quick wit and keen sense of humor, not to mention his command of American history, had actually made such an offense comment.
But it was true. Again and again, while covering the U.S. involvement in WWII, one of my high school teachers used the terms "Japs" and "dirty Japs" in reference to the Japanese. And each time he uttered the words, I squirmed in my seat, made uncomfortable not only by his use of the ethnic slur, but by my own hesitancy when it came to voicing my objections.
Some memories stay with one always.
No, I'm not Japanese. I'm not even Asian. (Well, as far as I know *smile* According to the hubby, I do sorta kinda look Asian when I'm asleep). By self-definition, I am an African American of the female persuasion.
But if it matters, and in this instance it did, there was a young woman of obvious Asian ancestry in that particular high school history class. I don't recall her name. She and I weren't friends or even acquaintances. The possibility exists that she was no more Japanese that was I, as does the possibility that she took no offense to our teacher's comments. But the fact remains that we were both young women of color, bound together in one sense by our vulnerable status as the only two visible minorities in a classroom full of young, White students, and bound together in another sense by our silence.
I can't help but think we should have said something, if only to one another. Why didn't we? Was it youth? Shyness? Fear? Ambivalence? Embarrasment? Or was it simply too far an emotional distance for either of us to cross. Twenty-plus years later, I still don't know.
Looking back on the incident, I now find it both unnerving and somewhat ironic that the teacher in question reminded me of a cricket. The truth is, I have a fear of crickets, a fear that involves my not knowing where the little critters are bound to jump next.
And indeed, it is a small jump from Jap to nigger/from faggot to coon/ from spic to jigaboo/
If I, as an African American, wait until the slur turns from slanty-eye bastard to big-lipped baboon, then have I not, in fact, waited too late? Of course, I have. I think even way back then, I somehow sensed it was so.
"In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't Communists. Then they came for the Jews and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up because I was Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up for me."
(Rev. Martin Niemoller, 1892-1984)
"If they take you in the morning, they will be coming for us that night."
(James Baldwin, 1924-1987)
And for those who still don't get it, the "History Lesson" here is--just as there is no safety in silence, there is no safety in drawing the lines of intervention around our own ethnic, racial, sexual or religious identities.
(Written while listening to Erykah Badu's "Honey," "The Healer" and "Master Teacher" from the CD entitled New Amerykah: Part One (4th World War). Check the refrain from "Master Teacher":
"What if there was no niggas only master teachers?"
"I stay woke . . ."
What about you? Have there been times in your life when you wish you'd spoken up? What were your reasons for not doing so?
11 comments:
Hi Lori, I enjoyed this piece the first time, but for some reason I assumed the teacher was African American. It is still difficult to think that someone who actually taught school while you attending would say something like that.
Unfortunately there have been times when I have not spoke up when I should have. The good thing is it does not happen now! When you are young you are more into image maintainence than standing up for what is right. At this stage of the game I have absolutely no image to maintain :-)
Things that use to be important to me in my teens and 20's, like outward appearance, what people think of me, have been replaced with empathy, integrity, kindness and willingness to take a stand. Thanks for the remix on the piece, it really made me think about how hurtful we can be to each other.
I think you are too hard on your self...part of being young and learning is the very situation you recalled so beautifully for us here in this post.
The real issue is...what you learned. You may have been a young shy girl...and you may look back now and wished you had said something...but...
the deal is I bet anyTHING! you will speak out nowadays!
We are children and learning. I suspect if you had spoken up in class that day you would have had a lot of grief.
If you had gone and reported the incident to the principal or your parents, maybe. I say maybe...but your memory is honored by your actions in your life as an adult.
We can all forgive the children we were...we were learning...now as adults what do we o with those powerful memories?
I have grown up to be a person who will not tolerate such speaking. My parents raised me to be tolerant and liberal and compassionate to all people.
You can ask most people who know me, I will say something...sometimes toa fault.
I saw a man grab a woman's arm once when I was a bartender...it was his wife and she looked terrified. All I could do was say, I can't serve you if you assault another customer. Oh he was mad...and they left.
I've even seen a woman struggling to get her kids onto a ferry, she had five children and could barely amnage them and her husband was just standing there...even on that level...I stepped into help her.
I've broken up fights on the street too.
I'm from Cananda and we have strict hate crime laws. A teacher would be fired for speaking liek that in class!
Meanwhile...my husband in Chicago worries about me...because he says I'm naive for Chicago and I say hi to everyone ha ha!
My heart aches if I see intolerance I literally ache!
@ Pjazzy & Candy Minx,
I think you are both right as far as age and maturity being factors in that particular situation. Thanks for sharing your views.
But I still think it's important to teach youth that they have a right (and often a duty) to speak up. Sometimes all it takes is for one person to speak up. Often times when that happens, others will step forward and lend their support.
Over and beyond my disappointment with the teacher, is my disappointment in myself for not reaching out and showing a bit solidarity with the injured party.
A few privately spoken words of support and encouragment is all it would have required. Had I been in her shoes, I know that's what I would have wanted (smile).
I've had both a knife to my throat and a gun pointed at my belly for things I stood for.
I still stand.
When I was in school there was a 1/2 black 1/2 chinese guy who's nickname was "chigger" like a tick or a chinese... nevermind. You get the picture.
I tried like hell to get people to stop calling him that. His name was Steve. He didn't seem to mind... perhaps even encouraged it.
A while later I also discovered that Steve was gay. Maybe he was redirecting the attention to his race instead of his sexuality. (this was long before being gay was ok) Maybe not.
Like the girl in your class, he never said much either.
Hi Lori!
Oh there have been many times where someone felt comfortable enough around me to make offensive comments!
One takes me back to when I was in the 10th grade. I attended a certain highschool in Flint, Michigan that was known for its diversity and multi-cultural aspect. The teachers were prodimently caucasian though. I will never forget this incident as long as I live...
It was February...and as long as I can remember we were always educated on the history of African Americans during this month in school.
Well my history teacher (a Jewish woman) decided that she wanted us to watch Schindler's List. This would normally not be a problem..but the timing was just all wrong. One of my best friends stood up and asked her why we were so focused on the Holocaust during Black History month...and when the whole class chimed in and agreed, our teacher turned beet red, stood up and these were her exact words...
"You all just need to get over it! This is my class and we will learn what I want you to learn! If you don't like it...leave!"
Well this is all she had to say to a bunch of 10th graders who really didn't want to be in class anyway...about 80% of the class left.
That was our way of standing up at the time...but looking back on that incident...more should have been done. I think now a comment like that warrants some type of disciplinary action.
I know I didn't tell my parents because I probably would have gotten in big trouble for walking out of class regardless of the reason.
The issue was dropped and everything was pretty much back to normal the next week in class.
However the teacher did change her lessons for the rest of that month.
Oh I see what you mean Lori.
Yes, I think it is our responsibility to teach young people to stand up for themselves...I guess I also think it's our responsibility to remember they are in the process of learning (although hopefully we are all having "lifelong learning")
Yes, it would have been a solidarity to go to the other student and tell her you think the teacher was wrong. I get that...but I also remember kids are shy, nervous and again...learning when to overcome their limitaions or sense of limitations.
Have you ever seen the movie "Flatliners"?
It uses the principle of atonement as a plotline. It's an 80's movi and maybe it seems cheesy...but it had some great ideals in it...the characters can go back in time!
I have several incidents in high school I wish I could do over again. I had a rough period around age 13-14 and I was in turmoil about such things as being a good kind person and doing the right thing and also being not a good person...and then I did have a kind of "awareness" where it really hit me to do analyses and do the right thing. Not to be afraid, not to do things that would hurt other people.
I was shy and insecure...and also involved with a group of girls that would classify as "mean girls"...and I don't know why I got involved with them but I did. it was for a really short period of time. I thought they were "cool" and I remember after a couple of months realizing they were hideous.
And I pledged to be really careful for the rest of my life about people who I would be friends with or spend time.
I regret that time period...but on the other hand...I was really young and I made a mistake. I learned from it,. let me tell you!
I actually think my involvement was way worse than your hesitation to speak to your fellow student.
If I could turn back the clock, I would tell those mean girls to go stuff it!
:)
@ Running Mom,
Thanks for sharing such an enlightening story. Poor Steve. I'm sure he felt incredibly vulnerable, and, thus, adopted the if you can't beat 'em, join 'em attitude.
@branson,
What a great example of "collective action" (smile). You know, in my situation, it never once occured to me to bring up the issue with my parents.
@Candy Minx,
I don't believe I've ever watched the movie FLATLINERS. I'll have to check it out. Thanks for the suggestion.
Yes, that 13-16 age period can be pretty difficult. What's unfortunate is when you encounter adults who haven't matured beyond that phase.
Hi!
just passing by your blog.
Great blog you have here.
See you around.
There have been plenty of times were I wish I said something but for what ever reason I didnt.
Because it wasnt about my race, was uttered by some one who I considered a friend or sos on.
I was wrong for that.
Your true story makes me wonder what was going on in the mind of the young Asian woman who was in your class. I also wonder if the teacher's comments have stuck with her too.
When I was managing a bookstore in the late 90s, I was straightening the magazine section during the evening. There were 3 white youths, one of whom I could have sworn made an offensive comment about Asians. I think I let it slide because:
a. It wasn't about Blacks
b. Because I was at work, I didn't want to get into a confrontation with a customer
c. I wasn't positive that the young man uttered anything offensive
I still regret that I didn't at least ask the young man what he said.
@clnmike,
Good for you (smile).
Acknowledgement is the first step towards change.
@Malcolm,
Indeed, sometimes it's about the situation and the frequency of the offense. In your case, you were unsure you'd really heard anything offensive and nor were you directly involved in the conversation.
But if the remark had occured during the course of a conversation you were having with that particular individual or if you repeatedly overheard that individual making offensive statements to others, you might have responded differently.
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