Hello everyone, this is my first post here. I've been reading along and keeping up with the intriguing conversations. It's wonderful that so many have joined in to share their views!
What are your views on interracial dating/marriage between any race, but specifically African Americans and whites? I've often heard that African American women don't like it when African American men date Caucasian women.
What are your thoughts?
8 comments:
This is actually a hard question to organize my thoughts on...I think skin color is just a physical attribute and not dating someone (or dating someone) based solely on the color of their skin is pretty shallow. While I believe that people are initially attracted to each other maybe based on physical attributes for any real relationship to grow and continue, there must be mental and emotional compatibility and those don't "look" like anything. If that makes any sense!!!
I have four teenagers, 3 girls and 1 boy, who are all dating. I live in a really diverse area and we are white and in my neighborhood, probably the minority. Most of the children my kids go to school with are African American, Middle Eastern, Asian or Hispanic and a lot of these kids were not even born in the United States. The high school my kids go to has students born in 72 different countries this year. It's really amazing.
What does worry me about them dating and getting involved with people is cultural differences. I was married briefly many years ago to a man who came to the US from Mexico at the age of 15. By the time we married he had been here for almost 20 years, he had become a US citizen, spoke English beautifully, but he really had some "un-American" thoughts as I'll call them, regarding women. I was young and foolish thinking that this wouldn't make a difference, that I could live with that and I was very wrong.
In my instance, it wasn't race that was the issue, I am white and he was white, too, although hispanic (geez, all these labels!). He wasn't a bad guy, he just really didn't "get" how American girls are raised and he really didn't agree with it or have any respect for that.
I had a very hard time spending any length of time in Mexico with his family, too. His parents thought I was too outspoken and didn't like it at all that I didn't jump up and down to wait on him hand and foot. They felt I had no respect for him at all.
It's these types of cultural differences that I have way more strong feelings about with my kids dating. It's not someone's skin color. It's that when they find someone they want to marry, that their hearts and souls are compatible and like I said, you can't "see" those things.
I'm all for it ;)
I don't see a problem with interracial couples. :)
My thing is if you see it, if you actually see color and make a conscoius choice in favor or against it than there is a problem.
Some Black women might not like it when Black men date Caucasian Women (notice how I took the African American out of the equation, to include all Black men who might be in this country). I know that some Caucasian men do not like it when Black men date Caucasian women (laws were enacted to drive that point home). I know some Black men personally who don't like their "sisters" (AKA Black women) dating White men and I there is in all likelihood some Caucasian women out there that don't care for Caucasian men dating outside the race. I am pretty sure there are some strong sentiments among other racial groups regarding this topic.
What is the color of love or respect? Love has no boundaries, racially or culturally, it just is. When I say respect, I am talking about respecting an individual's right to choose who they want to be with romantically, without having that choice questioned by the masses. I am talking about everyone minding their business. People should date, marry, shack up, etc. with whoever they like (hey I sound like T.I.).
As long as it isn't based on something superficial (it excites me so I want to see what it's like), I don't have an issue with interracial dating. I've done it several times myself. I feel lucky in the fact that I don't really have a "type" when it comes to women. I find women of all races attractive.
Although there are white women and black men who don't like interracial dating between blacks and whites, my experience is that more black women and white men have issues with it.
I am a black woman and I personally would never date outside my race...It is not because "I feel white women r taking our men"..every black man i know who dates white women r men I don't want anyway.The majority of them that I know personally will sleep w/a white woman..but won't have her on his arm..my very good friend who is white use 2 say i was racist for feeling the way i do..she only dates black men..i would tell her, don't date him, he just wants to use you, he just wants to sleep w/you, he thinks u have money..i asked her what did she call him when he asked her to cosign for a $5000 loan 2 wks after she met him..what did she call the other 1 when his BLACK girlfriend found them together and he denied her and never spoke 2 her again..u get the picture. i know that most of their motives are all bad. not to mention i know our history..knowing the history of race relations in america i cant help but to feel uneasy when i see a black and white couple together..It is also hard 4 me 2 comprehend simply becuse i am ONLY attracted 2 black men, the thought of dating a white man is inconceivable 2 me.It saddens me 2 know that some of us r so ashamed of who and what we are that we try 2 be apart of someone elses world as if that will change who u really are!
Post a Comment